how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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