I think I died a long time ago.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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