I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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