I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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