Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
