Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
