I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
