I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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