What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
