drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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