Quick, to the slutcave!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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