Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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