what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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