I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
