coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
