So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
