Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
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Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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