What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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