3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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