Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
