I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
