It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
