this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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