is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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