mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
