there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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