Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
