brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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