you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
