you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
