the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
