I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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