nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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