I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
