I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
only you would photoshop your dick
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
