The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
not ubering you a puppy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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