matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
