Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
