Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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