Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
