bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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