and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
