she kept yelling 'call me bella'
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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