my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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