You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
