Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
