honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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