I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
