i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
time to smoke my breakfast
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
