Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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