I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I feel like abortions should bother me more
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize
