Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
