Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
