just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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