Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
