One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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