Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize