i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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