Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
