I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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