Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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