Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
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Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
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By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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