Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
